It is a fact that we are not going to like everyone we meet and not everyone will like us. The assumption is that everyone at University, particularly those living together, will become best friends. However, we all have different experiences and backgrounds, have travelled a different path to get here and have a different moral and value base. These experiences are what shape our ‘window on the world’; how we view things, react to situations and behave is a direct result of our previous experience.

It is very possible that you might be living with people you have not previously met. This can be difficult and initial friendships can deteriorate rapidly to uncomfortable atmospheres and fallouts.

As a tenant you have signed a legally binding contract and therefore it is important that you try to get along with your co-tenants. You can still be civil to, and live with, flatmates or neighbours in a pleasant environment, even if you can’t be friends.

Having discussions early in the tenancy is a good idea so that everyone is clear about individual expectations. At this stage it is easier, as everyone is still keen and excited, and hopefully haven’t already fallen out. Even if you don’t always agree, being able to agree to disagree is a good start and can enable negotiation to reach a compromise that you can all live with.

Even with discussion, meetings and agreements, there is still the potential for fallouts. This can be incredibly upsetting and distracting. The good news is that disputes can usually be resolved, even if that means agreeing to be polite and have minimum contact for the remainder of the tenancy.

Fallouts can happen over the smallest thing, someone ‘borrowing’ your toothpaste, or eating your food can really irritate you. Don’t bottle things up, deal with the issue straight away in a calm manner. Refer to ‘How to Communicate’ page for tips, but mostly importantly, remember to take the emotion out of the situation.

You might also find that it’s easier to let the little things go, particularly if you have already mentioned something once and nothing has changed. It may be really frustrating when the butter knife is left on the side every day, but you will live more harmoniously if you just move it yourself than allow yourself to become annoyed. This can be challenging, but not allowing yourself to be annoyed can really create a far more harmonious living space.

If you need help with dealing with a fallout in your accommodation, please do contact Tenancy Support on tenancysupport@unipol.co.uk or use this form.